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Forums » Introductions » Ten Cars That Are Guaranteed To SCORE YOU Some FURRYASS


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Forums » Introductions » Ten Cars That Are Guaranteed To SCORE YOU Some FURRYASS
Panda Thug
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Post ID: 2110
Posted: 03-02-2021 23:12 PM
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Posted: 03-02-2021 23:12 PM

1. Dodge Ram 1500 ST 

Prior to 1994, driving a Dodge Ram pick-up would've earned you an appreciative nod at Home Depot and not much else. After undergoing some significant cosmetic revision, however, the Dodge Ram emerged from the factory as a half-ton, big-rig inspired "macho furry" pick-up truck. the unique chrome grill was a new accessory too, and made the new Dodge Ram 1500 immediately distinguishable from its other pick-up truck brethren. To break it down mathematically: "muscle" plus "bling" is greater than or equal to "road head".

2. MAZDASPEED 3

At least one sports car magazine complained that the MAZDASPEED 3 had "too much horsepower" and was more of a performance machine than a average driver could handle. The writer apparently suffers from a crystal meth addiction. MAZDASPEED 3 has annihilated its fiercest competitor on track, the Voltswagon R32, while still managing to cost about 11 grand less. So after you smoke the punk in the Vee Dub next to you at the stoplight, wink at his furry Hyena girlfriend in the passengers seat and say, "Wie mochten Sie fick eine echte Mann, baby?" (Sorry I don't know how to type in German. Lol)

3. Ford Mustang GT

"Look, it's a Ford Mustang!" It goes very fast, makes lots of noise, and furry females have been familiarizing themselves with its surprisingly maneuverable seating arrangements for over 40 years. Every famous bad ass from Shark Morrison to Steve McQueen has driven one. Believe us, the only feature that narrowly prevented the Ford Mustang from being the number 1 furry-magnet that is guaranteed to get you a steamy ride was its price tag. So, in other words, "If you drive it, they will come."

4. Pontiac G8 GT

As much as you might want one, sometimes a 2-door coupe just isn't going to cut it space-wise. The Pontiac G8 GT, producing 361 Horsepower, rear wheel drive, voted most likely to be clocked doing 85MPH on the interstate. Although billed as the poor furry's 5-series, I guarantee the furries you attract in a Pontiac G8 GT will be sexy and most horny females out there. Even less maintenance than anything you'd get in a BMW.

5. Chrysler 300 Touring RWD

Yeah yeah yeah, I know that whole "pimp your 300" thing is played out, and I know that you're probably going to vomit if you see another Chrysler 300 with a Phantom Grill... but you know what? The gimmick works. Chrysler 300 shares about the same wheelbase as the Phantom and depending on your trim package, can feature about the same luxuries too. Even though a stock Chrysler 300 is still an impressive luxury sedan, if you take the initiative to trick it out, I promise your efforts will not be in vain.

6. Subaru Impreza WRX STi

The new Subaru Impreza WRX STi was specifically designed to be a Rally car and even helped Travis Pastrana's team score a gold medal at X Games 12, earning it some considerable street cred.  I'd like to clarify, however, that it was only the hatchback Impreza WRK STi that made my list. The sedan version and its massive rear spoiler have a tendency to broadcast either "I'm Compensating For Something" or "I'm The Delivery Furry For My Parents Japanese Take-Out Joint." 

7. Dodge Charger SRT8 

Taking the Pontiac G8 GT "performance sedan" theme and running with it, the Dodge Charger SRT8 boosts an incredible 450 Horsepower and clocks a pretty impressive 5 second 0-60 MPH acceleration average. Despite its power, diehards have been pretty reluctantto admit the Dodge Charger SRT8 into the muscle car fold due to its technical classification as a 4-door sedan... though I say more cushion for the pushin.

8. Hyundai Genesis 4.6

Engineered by Hyundai to be an ambiguous luxury sedan, the Hyundai Genesis is about the same size as a BMW 7-series and if you squint a little to the right light, could pass from the front as a Mercedes S-class. No to be taken lightly, the Hyundai Genesis 4.6 further ups leather heated seats and a large, full-color navigation system. Just as a friendly word of warning: Don't be surprised if you attract a slubter type of female furry. Female furries who will be drawn to the Genesis 4.6 will probably be those of the furry in the streets but a freak in sheets variety.

9. Hummer H2

Now "here" me out - I know the Hummer H2 gets a lot of grief for being a gas guzzler, but it's a class 3 truck, it wasn't intended to be marketed as a "daily driver" (or ever worse, a "grocery getter") The Hummer H3 has toned the "wild tiger" feel down a little bit and is roughly equivalent to a Ford Explorer, but it's not the Hummer H3 that made my list, it's the H2. Hummer H2 is masculinity personified, and regardless of the stereotype, if you drive a Hummer H2, unless you do something incredibly asinine like throw some 22's on the tires or TV screens on the headrests, you'll get enough phone numbers to justify the need for your own directory assistance.

10. Ford Crown Victoria\Police Interceptor

Everybody knows at least one furry who has bought an unmarked Crown Vic from a police auction, and everybody has listened to him tell stories about furries shitting bricks when he gets behind them on the interstate. The fact is, plain white, blue, or black Ford Crown Vics are to police what Cadillac Seville's are to pimps: standard operating equipment. Another fact is: Furry females love furry males in uniform. So if you're a cop, you're in luck. you could drive a Yugo and still get more furry ass than you'd know what to do with. If you're not a cop, however, you can still ride the coattails of the sex-craze by picking up your own Ford Crown Victoria. Unfortunately, you'll have to buy your ride used, since Ford removed the Crown Victora from the commercial market in 2008, making it only available for fleet sales.

 

Thank you for reading! It took me about 5 hours to complete this. Hehe... I'm not that fast at copying paragraphs. Anyway! Reply or share.



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Panda Thug
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Post ID: 2111
Posted: 03-02-2021 23:17 PM
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Posted: 03-02-2021 23:17 PM » Editted: 03-02-2021 23:25 PM

This is basically a re-post on another thread I did, I hope y'all noticed this because it hasn't been noticed since last year during the Chinese bioweapon pandemic they have released on this corrupted deranged country we live in. Anyway, just share your thoughts or re-post I guess, I don't GIVE A DAMN what THE HELL you all DO to this damn POST! Do whatever! Copy and paste it, I don't give a damn. But just PLEASE give 2 minutes out of your masturbating session or whatever you do in your off-time to PLEASE read this article. Thanks! ;3

 

P.S. I'm going to be editing this post in my off-time, because this post was created and written by my stupid young 19-year-old mind. So, in simple terms, Pan-Pan needs to go through the whole article, and add different types of furry fursona's and species. Because it'll make meh article look good. THAT, my friends, is how AWESOME young adults with ADHD really are. 



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Post ID: 2115
Posted: 03-23-2021 21:59 PM
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Posted: 03-23-2021 21:59 PM

Created an account solely to say that this post is pretty cool, even as a non-car guy. 

Also, "To break it down mathematically: "muscle" plus "bling" is greater than or equal to "road head"" totally slayed me.



DarkXander
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Post ID: 2117
Posted: 03-30-2021 00:22 AM
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Posted: 03-30-2021 00:22 AM

The Mustang GT goes in the number 1 slot, new site rule, the king has spoken.



Dark wolf
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Post ID: 2118
Posted: 03-30-2021 08:35 AM
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Posted: 03-30-2021 08:35 AM
1970 triumph motorcycle were really good motorcycle back then and triumph and not just made motorcycle they made car also and I have a 1970 triumph motorcycle and I'm rebuilding it by myself

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