This is my diary of sorts I'm willing to share with you.

Please, don't think this is about you.

It's about me,

Don't you see

Or are you too blind shelfishly,

too controling to let me be me?

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A frail and fragil heart made of glass

Broken and pieced together, fragment by Oh so little fragment

A heart broke again, never will it be the same as before.

Bit by bit pieced together

Will the pieces become to small

Will it ever become Whole

Will this heart ever find that long search for a loving home?

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Bull-headed in the way I live

Taurus, my sign from the heavens

Shouldn't mean a damn. but hell, It suits me just so

Bottle things inside, truths that I'll hide.

Sweel up past my point of no return.

I Pray I don't explode

Only showing what I want

Think you have me down but I'm so much more

Deeper in depth if you go to my core

Explore if you'd like, get past the iron and stone wall

Carefull it's a awful long fall

Stubborn, unmoving , relentless once my mind is set

Caring too much is truly my only real regret

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In a world where there is only showdowy blackness

Dark fog looms the earth

Draping the world of pretend

Only a small faint light comes from all of us

Futile to light the way with only one

Alone we can never make it past it's shadowy grip

Together we're the light shown

Ever dissipating, the fog is fading fast.

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Past or future, Love or Lust

our red matalic hearts turns to rust

Crimson spills into the sea

The demons inside shout with glee

Hoping you make the same mistake again

Dwell on the past never be happy again.

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I'm to afraid to say this up front, hidden reality.

Having a good time, just a formality

And never tried to be mean, that is true

Venture to the farthest lands, if only you knew

Endured the rough seas, waves so high

Done nothing wrong... ok, that's a lie

Excited to see you all, that's all me

Presenting the real me, only the part you to see

Reading and writing these poems

Encuraged people to epress there life

Sending them my love

Someone needs it now and then, you know

I know what I do is not that special

Only the few who know

Never did I try to hurt anyone, but does the rest of everyone else know?

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Ya know, These days where the happyiest days of my life with you.

Ya I know such a cliché thing to say... But that was our thing you know

We sat on the hill, danced though the night. Built our house of blocks and made our town.

We where happy and that is what i'll keep when we leave.

I'm not happy, Nor am I sad. In fact I'm really glad.

For someone to make me feel this way only means what we had was real.

I thank you for the time you have given with me. I hope the same goes with you.

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I find it funny that I still cannot keep you off my mind.

Hell, If only I could turn back the time.

My, My, The things I remember. The things I wish I could do.

But what was said is now done. No point crying over you.

But then why do I still choke up when I see your name?

Why do I feel those eyes, the eyes that blame.

Why must I feel like i'm in the shadows of shame?

If only we could talk again, my old friend.

Talk things over and have a plesent end.

But even so, I still keep you in my mind. I hope the same is for you.

Because I'll keep my promsie I made when it was just us two.

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My heart is pure as gold. But sometimes hidden by a coat of lead. So Heavy and so cold.

And a look into my soul, You'll see sign that reads "sold!"

My paws, my actions lulls many but only to their end.

Please get away from me, I beckon.

Leave me and save yourself.

I know life is better without me.

Let me fade in the background, fade from your memory.

It's best that I'm just a page in a dull history.

I care for you. And that's why I speak this way.

Perhaps you'll understand... Maybe one day.

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How should I phrase this to make it clear. Sometimes I want to be alone and have no one near.

Sometimes I feel a rage that cannot be consoled.

Sometimes I want to see the extent of my rage unfold.

To hell with the prayer for my good will

I rather see the crimson red spill

Lost in my mind, perhaps I've gone crazy

But at least I've been thinking and not been lazy

You see I keep my mind sharp as a razor

Never will dull only get sharper

So be careful when you come near

Because when I get this way you may loose everyone you hold dear...

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Living so far away from you is the worst possible pain

But strangely I've grown so used to it

The more time away the further I feel it isn't real

Even when you get me on a deeper level I feel.

How can I love and not from so far away

How can I stay when I feel like I must leave

Tell me I need answers now

But as of late you feel like a shadow now

you text everyday but I do not reply

Why, Why don't I reply

I know I should to show you I still care

But I fear this rift is growing more than I could bear

The rift of distance, you're across the world it seems

No familiar touch to help me when I'm falling at the seams

Is this goodbye? I hope to the gods it's not

But times I wonder what we got

Is it worth the struggle and the tension that grows

Or maybe we should make new and see where it goes

I leave you with this in mind

Because I'm lost in a land without time.