hello, so first im a asexual male, im looking for a girlfriend or someone who can teach me about relationships, so im 19 now and ive never had a girlfriend, ever, not online or irl, so i asked advice on a site and one person suggested i was too much of a pushover and im too submissive, which is true, is there anyway i can change that? anyone have any advice? 

i am very submissive at heart, and ive never met a female was liked that about me, im starting to think no females like that, if thats true and i dont change, ill be single forever.....

i hope your right, either way i think ill be ok, i was just hoping thats all....

Well, hi there!

First off, don't call me the love doctor... I'm not a love doctor, I'm an idiot, just like everybody, and I'm saying that to encourage you to think for yourself! Take what I say with a grain of salt!

Now, a thing that I personally see quite often, (Wich doesn't mean that I'm saying it applies to you) is that people who claim they are a "submissive" type often aren't soo much "submissive" as they are lacking qualities for anyone to be interested in.

I've found that people like this can often be shy. And do not take neccecary risks to start a conversation, or initiate anything on who they're interested in, or are having trouble suggesting things to do with their interest, (such as going on a date to get to know him/her better) or in some worse cases, they try to initiate with their interest, but, due to shyness fail to do so, or do not properly establish their intentions, and body language, resulting them to be perceived as "creeps", scaring away anyone there is to be interested in them.

Like Lady Severin said, it is unadvisable to change yourself to fit the interest of someone you like. But this is no excuse to stop yourself from developing in live.

Submissive does not mean shy. I've known a lot of people who were submissive in nature, but were still extremely social, and often took the initiative in meeting new people.

Try to be more confident in yourself! Take a few small risks! Send the first message! And send the last! It can be quite surprising how far the little things can take you!

But, keep in mind I'm just shooting in the dark here. I don't know you! Soo don't be surprised if this isn't applicable to you! Just tell me some more about yourself and maybe I can help you find what the problem is!

Owners can be just as shy as subs. It can be a struggle to "Remain active" when people lack confidance and struggle to take the intiative.

When theat happens I guide people. Break things down. This logic can apply in general or in a BDSM way. It could be "Don't wear a happy mask and spare my feelings. Be honest". Or it could be "Let's start this D/s (dom/sub) post slowly. I'll post a bit step by step and chip in whenever."

Bur yea, we don't know enough about you. I used to let people walk over me. In the bad way. Now I let them do that in the good way. What's bad can also be good and vice versa. But it all depends on who you're with and context. Whatever the case, it's about expressing an interest in each other. And trying to remain active even if you suck at it. It can be the "none" dominant people that end up being your owner. Because they care enough about you to do it.

the weird thing about me, (theres lots of weird things about me) i usually strive on not being confident in myself, and i know thats weird to say but thats how ive always been, because it makes me do better at things when i tell myself im bad at them, but it also makes me hate myself alot, i let people walk all over me all the time because my goal is not to make me feel good but make them feel good, which also makes me feel good >w<

brisky challenger, you can call yourself a love doctor if you want! >w< i usually ask them what they lke and talk about that, even with my male friends ill do that, more so irl, and yeah i am submissive because ill usually just follow along with what other people want, and that usually works out fine, but i dont know...

taramafor, what do you mean by remain active? i am into some BDSM stuff like being dominated, but im also asexual which is odd, i dont think much people care about me,